Reframing My Now
It's always a good feeling when the penny drops, isn't it?
The idea of 'reframing' didn’t make much sense to me when I signed up for the course, but it started to become clear – along with its amazing benefits – at the time when we had our annual flu jabs.
Light Filled Moments (1973-2019)
Wedding photograph (top left) © Mark Dolby, Leeds, 2019
All other photographs on this site © Paddy Dawson 2021
Both Ian and I have a great sense of gratitude to the NHS for looking after us – neither of us would still be here without the skilled and care-full interventions of a lot of dedicated medics in the past. But this didn’t prevent me feeling anxious about our annual flu jabs back in October 2020. With seasonal flu and Covid all around us, I could only envisage dozens of people like us (all on the risk-list) being packed into the Surgery, like infectious sardines.
Of course, it’s important to stress that it wasn’t like that – the Covid-protocols that the GP and support staff practised were exemplary and we felt safe and well looked after. But to offset my anxiety beforehand I visualised the photos I might take to remind me that, although these are anxious times, there’s still beauty and tranquillity in the world around us.
This started as an exercise in distraction – an alternative to counting sheep on a sleepless night. But it developed further – taking me closer towards understanding Ruth's ideas about ‘reframing’ – because I did see trees, shrubs and flowers at the Surgery (all the things I’d imagined) with a burst of sunshine and blue sky as an amazing bonus; and the day did comprise more to celebrate than to fear. And this was such an unexpected reaction I recorded it photographically with images which fully reflected the breadth of this experience.
So, this image (alongside) became more than just a general story of good versus bad; more than ‘whistling in the dark’; more than an exercise in distraction; it became the embodiment of my inner dialogue, as I reappraised and questioned my thoughts and feelings.
Subsequently, I tried taking the mask-photo out of the image completely to see if this would help me overcome my anxiety, but it didn’t – it felt as if I was trying to deny the existence of Covid-19 and it made me more anxious! But somehow – subconsciously – I knew I had the ability to decide whether its representation was the right size; question whether its visual presence was making ‘the wolf look bigger than it is’ (as the German proverb says). Hence, as my concerns about the flu jab and other medical issues receded and my wellbeing improved, I was able to demote ‘anxiety’ to 1 of 16 (below).
Light Over Dark (I)
At that point the penny really dropped …
When I had talked about “my inner dialogue, as I reappraised and questioned my thoughts and feelings,” I was actually following Ruth’s suggestion to ‘reframe my now.’ It meant I was restoring a healthier sense of perspective – my sense of perspective – making sure I separated the mental wheat from the chaff; light times from the dark; reality from fears.
My interpretation just used a lot more words!
Then it was easy to see the contribution that the camera and the composite-images were making – that they’re tools to help this reframing process.
On the simplest level, the camera acts as a prompt, reminding me to engage fully with our locality whilst the composite-images provide visual reinforcement and confirmation that I've done so. But, as the flu jab showed, the same approach can help me deal with stressful situations – both virtually and physically (imagining photographic opportunities and creating them). Similarly, I've been able to confront the residual echoes of past medical trauma – questioning and challenging my associated feelings and distress by creating different versions of ‘Light Over Dark’.
It’s not a magic wand – it doesn’t erase those difficult times – but the mental and physical process means that the wolf is sized correctly! Importantly, I've regained a healthier sense of perspective with the visual reminder that every case of ‘anxiety’ is surrounded and lessened by the good things in my life – good relationships, good(ish) health, the goodness and presence of nature around us.
And that’s why it was important for me create the image ‘Light-Full Moments’ and to start this page with it – focussing on some highlights from across the decades and sharing them with you – rather than dwell on the slightly anxious route I took on my journey to understand ‘reframing’.
Maybe, as Catherine Woodiwiss asserts
“healing from trauma [will] also mean finding new strength and joy”.
Light Over Dark (II)