Surprising Outcomes
I'm not surprised that my wellbeing improved across the autumn – after all, that's why I took this course. But what has been surprising is the way that Ruth expanded my ideas about the subject matter of a photograph. Beforehand I doubt I would have noticed a tiny wall-side fern, let alone photographed it and valued it. But now it makes a simple, balanced contribution to the elegant little image ‘Beauty on My Doorstep’ and the narrative it carries.
Beauty on My Doorstep (I)
Another surprise is that the way I regard my work has expanded.
Too often in the past I had a notion of ‘proper’ photography, of perfection – perfect subject, perfect composition, perfect tonal range, perfect editing which inevitably needed the perfect (i.e. my best, most expensive) camera to start the process. And, too often, that perfect-ness got in the way of the sincerity of the image, too much head, not enough heart. But now I’ve a better appreciation for the direct honesty of this recent work – it’s ‘perfect’ in that it perfectly tells my story, carried straight from my heart. And in this way, it’s giving me belief in my creativity and self-acceptance – somehow there's less self-criticism, more self-kindness too.
Beauty on My Doorstep (II)
The final surprise is in the amount of time it's taken me to realise that that, first and foremost, this was not a photography course even though my ideas about photography have been significantly expanded – both in terms of subject-matter and what constitutes 'perfect'. Even now, several weeks on, I'm still telling people about the 'amazing photography course' I was on – rather than the correct description of the 'amazing wellbeing course' I was on; a wellbeing course which just happened (casually and incidentally) to incorporate the use of a camera and benefitted from my inbuilt ease with photography; a wellbeing course which encouraged selfkindness and self-acceptance, a closer engagement with our environment and a more positive, healthier sense of perspective.
These are unexpected but very, very welcome outcomes.